++Democratic National Convention Humor++

2008 Democrat National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING DAY FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF Barack Hussein Obama- Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Obama

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Hillary Clinton

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

**OBAMA KOOL-AID**

I RECEIVED THIS, AND NOW I AM MORE CONFUSED THAN I WAS BEFORE. LET ME
SEE IF I HAVE THIS STRAIGHT:

HIS FATHER WAS A KENYAN, MUSLIM, BLACK - WE HAVE SEEN PICTURES OF HIS
'AFRICAN FAMILY'

HIS MOTHER IS A KANSAN, ATHEIST, WHITE ---

-- WHERE ARE THE PICTURES OF HIS KANSAN, WHITE MOTHER AND HIS WHITE GRANDPARENTS WHO RAISED HIM?


HIS FATHER DESERTED HIS MOTHER AND HIM WHEN HE WAS VERY YOUNG AND WENT
BACK TO HIS FAMILY (WHOSE FAMILY ?) IN KENYA ?

HIS MOTHER MARRIED AN INDONESIAN MUSLIM AND TOOK HIM TO JAKARTA WHERE HE WAS SCHOOLED IN A MUSLIM SCHOOL

HIS MOTHER RETURNED TO HAWAII AND HE WAS RAISED BY HIS WHITE KANSAN GRANDPARENTS ?WHEN ?

HE LATER WENT TO THE BEST HIGH DOLLAR SCHOOLS, HOW?

HE LIVES IN A $1.4 MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE THAT HE ACQUIRED THROUGH A DEAL WITH A WEALTHY FUND RAISER WHO WAS RECENTLY CONVICTED OF VARIOUS FINANCIAL CRIMES.

HE 'WORKED' AS A CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST IN CHICAGO - HAS NEVER HELD A
PRODUCTIVE JOB. NEVER.

THE PRESIDENCY IS NOT A CIVIL RIGHTS POST, NOR IS IT SUBJECT TO
AFFIRMATIVE ACTION SET ASIDES

HE ENTERED POLITICS AT THE STATE LEVEL AND THEN THE NATIONAL LEVEL,
WHERE HE HAS MINIMAL EXPERIENCE, NOT EVEN A FULL TERM IN THEIR SENATE.

HE IS PROUD OF HIS 'AFRICAN HERITAGE' -- BUT IT SEEMS THAT HIS ONLY
AFRICAN CONNECTION WAS THAT HIS AFRICAN FATHER GOT A WHITE GIRL PREGNANT AND DESERTED HER. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SPERM CARRIED A 'CULTURAL' GENE.

WHERE IS THE PRIDE IN HIS WHITE CULTURE? HE GOES TO A 'AFROCENTRIC' CHURCH THAT HATES WHITES, HATES JEWS, AND BLAMES AMERICA FOR ALL THE WORLD'S PERCEIVED FAULTS AND THEN REPEATEDLY COVERS UP FOR THE PASTOR AND THE CHURCH.

HE CLAIMS THAT HE COULD NOT CONFRONT HIS PASTOR BUT HE WANTS US TO BELIEVE THAT HE CAN CONFRONT NORTH KOREA AND IRAN.

--- YEAH, RIGHT!!!

I THINK THE HOPE IS THAT HE HOPES NO ONE WILL PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER
UNTIL AFTER THE 'ELECTION' .

' I AM CONFUSED !!!! ' -- HOW ABOUT YOU ???

-salient anomaly

**LOONY LEFT**

Someone sent me this. I thought it was pretty funny... I have no idea who the author is.

The Hypocrisy Hall of Shame

Laurie David
The go-to green gal for Oprah Winfrey and other media titans, Laurie David, 50, has done more to sound the global warming alarm than almost anyone except her chum Al Gore. She even produced the former vice president’s Oscar-winning documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth." So why does the soon-to-be ex-wife of comedian Larry David keep homes in both California and Massachusetts, and fly a private jet between the two? “It’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing something,” she tells Condé Nast Traveler. “If we’re looking for perfection, we’ll never, ever get there.”

The Hypocrisy Hall of Shame

Green Issue Publishers
Magazines from Time to Vanity Fair are warming up to environmental coverage and publishing annual “green issues” dedicated to eco-friendly subjects. “But many of these green glossies seem determined to test their readers’ capacity for cognitive dissonance,” writes Advertising Age, “by editorializing for eco-friendly action on virgin paper that lugs big carbon emissions behind.” Not to mention all those ads designed to encourage consumption.

The Hypocrisy Hall of Shame

Christina Ricci
She’s got a point. Christina Ricci ranted to BlackBook magazine about the rise in sleaze culture, especially how it debases women. “I think people are learning to actually aspire to be objectified. It’s like the highest form of flattery for teenage girls,” the actress said. “I just feel like sexism is alive and well, and misogyny.” If only the 28-year-old "Speed Racer" actress hadn’t undermined her argument in photos that accompany the article. Ricci’s wardrobe included short-shorts that barely cover her pelvis, a boob-squeezing cropped tee and lace-up stilettos a stripper would call skanky.

The Hypocrisy Hall of Shame

Suzanne Somers
Comedians dubbed the scandal Thighgate. When a tabloid photographed actress and diet guru Suzanne Somers leaving a liposuction clinic in 2001, publishers were preparing to release her latest book "Eat, Cheat and Melt the Fat Away." And it wasn’t a plastic surgery guide. Seems Somers, then 54, didn’t owe her great body entirely to her signature product, the ThighMaster exercise gizmo. She told People the lipo was needed after radiation treatment for cancer to slim the area where her breasts met her back. “It's not about having a perfect body,” Somers told the magazine, “but about having a body I could be proud of at this age.”

-salient anomaly