Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially
elected to office, our company will instill a few new
policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues
of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales bonuses into
common pool that will be divided equally between all of
you. This will serve to give those of you who are under
achieving a 'fair shake.'

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages,
including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally
amongst yourselves. This will help those who are 'too
busy for overtime' to reap the rewards from those who
have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as 'the
government.' We will not participate in this
'pooling' experience because the law doesn't
apply to us.

4. The 'government' will give eloquent speeches to
all employees every week, encouraging its workers to
continue to work hard 'for the good of all.'

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies
because it's 'good to spread the wealth.' Those
of you who have underachieved will finally get an
opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had
success will feel more 'patriotic.'

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out
their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President
Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil
for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let
you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you
can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our
democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen
TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all
Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?).

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies,
you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.